The Tinder Experience – Is it a match?

So it’s time, you’ve tried everything but unfortunately you haven’t had the best of luck. Going out to clubs, playing detective at work and aimlessly wondering through shopping centres hoping you will bump into ‘him’. But it all fails, and the search for Mr Right has become an unsuccessful mission.

It’s now time, you’ve heard of the app before but you never thought it would be for you, nevertheless you finally give in after your bestie persuades you. You’ve only just done it and clicked download, welcome to Tinder!

Okay I was very sceptical about it in the past to say the least, I was quite narrow minded and thought the app would only be full of guys who are only after one thing. I’m not saying 100% of the guys will be complete angels longing for a long term commitment. But you may be surprised, from my experience there are some decent guys on Tinder looking for the same thing as yourself. It’s just filtering them out which can become a battle, having to figure them out straight away and realise what their real intentions are.

The app is basically everything we’ve been taught not to do, ‘judge a book by its cover’ so try reading their bio before you swipe left or right and you might find some hidden gems with interesting facts and similar hobbies.

Swiping Nerves
So you’ve swiped right and it’s a match, eeek! Now continuous thoughts are going through your head, what do I do? Do I wait? Speak first? To be honest there’s no right or wrong answer as it’s all about what kind of guy you want, and what you’re like as a person. I personally wait for someone to speak first. I know ladies (and gentleman) we live in a 21st century, but personally I like a guy who makes effort and shows control. But there’s nothing wrong with starting a conversation first either, as some guys like this showing that you’re a confident woman who knows what she wants.

The exchanging of numbers
So you’ve started a flowing conversation but straight away he asks for your number. Okay this is a good thing as he’s willing to speak to you away from the app, however think about yourself first. Don’t feel obliged to give your number, only give it if you feel comfortable. If you don’t feel comfortable yet, just steer away from the question, e.g. ‘I think it’s too soon’, or add a bit of humour ‘I don’t even know you! You may be a mass murderer, can I really trust you with my number’. Remember, your number is more precious than that, make them work for it. However if they’re not willing to work for it, are they even worth it? Believe me, if you give your number to every guy on Tinder it will be very difficult to keep up. So fish out the good ones before you give them the Holy Grail (which is your number of course).

Date time!
Okay next stage, you’ve given your number once you’re sure about the person. Now it’s date time! So check them out on social media, there’s no harm in some playful stalking. You need to check out if he is who he says he is. And make sure you meet up in public first, remember your safety is more important than anything, so stick to crowds and busy locations.

If you’re struggling to decide where to meet, check out our blog on ‘11 First Dates’ and you’re sure to find a date that suits you.

If you’re a nervous dater like me, just remember it always will be difficult to meet a complete stranger for the first time, but just go with the flow. Dating is all about the experience and if it doesn’t work out, so be it.

Pick yourself up and try again
If you enjoyed your date and are planning to go on a second, congratulations you’ve just found love on Tinder, but if not, don’t worry, dating is all about trial and error, as the great Aaliyah once said ‘pick yourself up and try again’. Remember ladies, Tinder is all about options, don’t put all your eggs in one basket, and use the skills God gave us, and multitask. Tinder is a casual dating app and used to get to know new people, so don’t be afraid to mingle, mingle and mingle some more.


An Award-Nominated blog which discusses what it's like to be a contemporary British Asian Woman. ‍

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