Are you still single waiting for that perfect guy to enter your life, wondering where he is and when you will have the chance to meet him. But another year passes and he still hasn’t appeared, you then start to worry. Is this another year being alone and single, having no one to keep you warm on those cold nights , unfulfilled valentines days and watching those fireworks from your window, longing to watch them with someone else? Sorry to start this off as a sad love story with a side of cheese but honestly I do have a point to this.
So after feeling sorry for yourself you start to think about all the guys that have entered your life, were you being too picky? Did you meet someone who could make you happy but you just didn’t want to settle?
All girls have the fear of settling for the guy who doesn’t meet the criteria of their perfect match, but is this okay? Are girls nowadays too selective when it comes to guys, following that all important checklist?
For some girls the list could go on, especially for me, but are we preparing ourselves for failure?
I recently went on a romantic date, he wined and dined me and ended the night with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, some people would say this was a ‘perfect date’. He was my type on paper, we had so much in common from movies to interests and future aspirations. It was all looking positive from the 1st date with a hint of high hopes. However, as the weeks go by you start to realise this may not be as perfect as you imagined. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the man for me, there was nothing specifically that he did wrong; He was a true gentleman and ticked all the right boxes, but the chemistry just wasn’t there. I then start to think is this self-sabotage? Am I ready for a relationship?… is it him or is it me?
Do you ever have this feeling when you’re newly dating? We would love to hear your stories.
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5 thoughts on “Are you settling for Mr not so Right?”
i love this blog. i do believe i can be the right man for you who will always treat you right but also can have the great banter after a long hard day at work.
I’ve just recently thought of this without reaching a conclusion. It’s a slightly different scenario tho. Let me share my thoughts.
I have noticed that when I am starting to have an interest in a guy and we are really good to each other and he’s just a nice person there comes a point where I find out that there is an issue (might it be political, ethical, or whatever) that we strongly disagree about. And this doesn’t just go for romantic relationships but also for friendships. I guess there will always be issues to disagree about and to discuss, which I think are a fruitful, but this tends to lead me to a dilemma where I don’t know how similar my opinions need to be.
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Ahhh this is a really good topic. It’s fine to have disagreements in relationships (it’s bound to happen in a healthy relationship, right?). We think as long as you have that respect and love to understand where each other is coming from, then it’s cool. However, if it causes a lot of aggravation, then maybe it shows incompatibility, as disagreements are much harder to work through sometimes. If a belief is causing so much of a barrier, what about harder disagreements on life decisions in the future? Thanks for commenting xx
I don’t think it’s self sabotage if the chemistry isn’t there. I’ve dated someone who ticked the boxes on paper but that certain spark wasn’t there – I never the less persevered thinking the spark could develop and I was just being picky? I can tell you, it didn’t develop. What I have realised is that when there is a spark, chemistry – that certain something indescribable between two people, you are more likely to be forgiving of the boxes they don’t tick. Nobody is perfect, no one is going to tick all your boxes and girls seem to forget that they aren’t perfect either and we might not be ticking all of the guys boxes. If all the right ingredients are there to have something special, don’t just give up on it because he doesn’t look like the Indian Ryan Gosling or that he doesn’t agree with your views on how it’s essential you get that new Fenty foundation. You don’t have to agree on everything, but it is important he respects your point of view, your values align and he’s considerate, understanding, makes you laugh and alright bit easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt! It’s important to compromise on your check list but don’t compromise on the spark. That’s what I’ve learnt and still learning ALOT!
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Hey Jasmine! Love, love, LOVE your comment – feels like we’re getting advice from a friend. 100% agree on what you commented, the spark does allow you to become more flexible with your boxes. We’re the same, still learning a lot too. Thank you for your comment xx