I myself have just recently experienced my first heartbreak and it really is a b**** that won’t leave you alone. I might be a late bloomer within this department as I have always avoided guys with the fear of being hurt, however last year I decided to woman up and give it ago. As my mother says ‘you’re not getting any younger’.
I finally met someone on the infamous app Tinder and everything was going so well, it was the first time I felt so comfortable with a guy before. He made me laugh being a massive tick on my list, and was the first time I felt a mutual connection with someone. However, as time went by things became sour and it turned out we weren’t the best companions for each other, he didn’t make me feel great about ‘us’ and I had the feeling he wasn’t taking me or the relationship seriously. Even though my feelings towards him were strong I had to make the selfish decision and end things.
So without going on about my life story too much, long story short I ended things and was heartbroken, he never reached out, he explained he wasn’t in the right mind space from the beginning and I received the feeling that he just didn’t care. Overall my upset stemmed from the fact he wasted my time and played with my emotions.
I was at a low point in my life and I had to switch things up fast, and I will share with you what I did to overcome this. However I learnt there was no instant fix and the best healer is time and patience, annoying I know! But that is the harsh reality. I’m still waiting for the B**** (Heartbreak) to leave, but I’m staying strong as I know my time will come when I’m set free (Maybe a little over dramatic).
So here we go
• Try not to spend too much time being depressed, remember you’re so much better than this. Allow yourself a day to stay home in your pj’s watching films that make you cry, eat a tub of ice cream and have a whole pizza to yourself. However as soon as your alarm clock goes off the next day don’t give yourself any excuses, get up, be strong and get your sass on.
• Think about everything positive that is in your life and how lucky you are e.g. Friends, family, job even something as simple having a roof over your head and food in your tummy.
• Go out with your friends or family keep your mind occupied and enjoy all aspects of your life.
• Remove all contact with your ex! Remember exes are exes for a reason. I reckon this is the most difficult step, it’s the official realisation that he/she is out your life. I’m half way through the process but maybe start with social media. Out of sight is out of mind and while you’re trying to move on with your life you don’t want a constant reminder. Sometimes exes tend to put intentional hurtful posts up just to get to you, so keeping a safe distance might be for the best.
• If you’re ever feeling weak write a list of all reasons why it didn’t work, whenever you have the urge to text him/her just quickly refer back to your list.
• Try avoiding depressing songs about heartbreak, particularly Ed Sheeran, voice of an angle but lyrics that can create an outburst of tears in seconds. Switch up your playlist to something upbeat and motivational. Destiny Child ‘Independent woman’ saved my commutes home from work
• Try getting back into the game if you’re ready, don’t rush into things as you want to allow yourself to heal first. If you heart isn’t 100% in it but the person you’re dating is, it could end up being messy.
• Finally set new goals for yourself to focus on, you have your whole life ahead of you and the right guy will come your way. I’m a big believer when it comes to positive energy, if you have an uplifting energy you will meet someone with a similar aura.
I hope this helps anyone else going through heartbreak and just remember you’re not alone.