“Why is someone like you single?”

“Why is someone like you single?”

A question that I’m sure a lot of you have heard, maybe from your friends, family and strangers. Am I the only one that finds this question annoying? What is this question suggesting? Are people like me, meant to be in relationships? Who are people like me?

‘Why is someone like you single?’…*My Face*

My relationship status, my choice

My choice could be down to a lot of reasons; Satisfied with my current life, time management, not quite connecting with the right person and so forth. Nevertheless, it’s my choice and ultimately I think that being single shouldn’t really be a defining part of my character.

Also, that question sometimes feels evasive, like the person is asking what is wrong with me. OK, maybe this is me overreacting to a question or possibly a compliment. Being in my mid-twenties and from a South Asian background, the pressure to find someone can be intense. It’s tricky finding someone who would complement my life (and me to theirs), whilst pleasing the South Asian family — in terms of religion and caste (that’s a topic for another blog!).

Honestly, the whole single and relationship talk on my life, feels like it’s putting me into a box. A box of what my life should typically look like.

Asian wedding
Family’s cultural expectations

This doesn’t mean I think people in relationships are ‘boxed in’. I’m surrounded by great people in very happy relationships, which is fantastic! However, right now I feel like I’m not in the same space. Which is completely ok and I’m aware this can change unpredictably. But to answer: why is someone like me single? Why not! I’m tired looking for answers to that question for other people and myself. It’s easier and refreshing to celebrate single life instead.

Going solo has never felt better and I think it’s always good practice to remind myself of the positives.

Here’s my positives;

  • I have little responsibility.
  • Flexibility with life and career decisions.
  • Heaps of time to develop myself (by travelling or doing whatever I want).
  • Opportunities to meet many wonderful people
  • I’m creating the most fun and amazing memories with my friends.
  • I feel like I’m really beginning to know who I am.
Being Single
Discover, learn and live

I’m sure many people in relationships can relate to the list above too. Let me know your thoughts and whether you can relate (p.s it’ll be awesome to know I’m not the only one who finds ‘Why is someone like you single?’ question annoying).

Comment below or email your thoughts to hello@britishbindi.com.


An Award-Nominated blog which discusses what it's like to be a contemporary British Asian Woman. ‍

3 thoughts on ““Why is someone like you single?”

  1. 💯 , well articulated, having gone thru same thought process, my conclusion exactly, tho recently come to the thinking, to experience above with a like minded friend who happens to be a girl could be added spice. #justsaying


  2. This blog is relatable and something that happens commonly. I’ve been through the same situation and it can become demoralising. The more I dwelled upon the unhappiness it was a projection of my own issue so I started to accept the status, look at my current position and ask myself whether there was anything to really be unhappy about? It’s all a case of timing, being in a good space and the right place.


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